A HARD DAY'S NIGHT

Anticipation for tonight was already exhausting.  Everyone knew it was going to be a long night.  And when I say a long night, I mean every sense of the word long.  Long being continuously the same feeling the entire night.  That feeling of exhaustion.  That feeling of insanity.  That feeling of death.  And it only lived up to the expectations.

We started the earliest we have this season. My makeup was even rushed.  Not that it was bad.  There's something nice about the conversations you have with an artist as they are painting a painting on your face.  And I actually think my makeup has been great the past two nights.  It's great every night!  Yet I just felt like a rushed cattle being herded back into my fenced area.  When we eventually got to our scene, our work would not be over for the next 7 hours.

Colin wanted to rearrange his section because it was getting to be terrible to deal with all night long.  From the beginning of the night, we were working hard.  And when the first wagon came through tonight, we decided we wanted to know how many wagons we would have during the course of the night.  NOT so we could judge when we would be leaving, BUT to see if it would be a record-breaking night.  Believe me I'm not someone who is counting down to get out of there.  I feel you should not really be complaining about working at a haunted attraction.  It is for a month.  And it is your choice to work there.  Exceptions include nights like tonight when it is absolutely exhausting, but continuous complaints are pointless.  I just do not.  Nevermind!  I'm complaining about complaining.  How silly...

At about an hour in, I decided to get back on the spot where I had my fatal fall the night before.  I got one wagon in and then a manager came through.  He immediately saw me and said, "Hey, what are you doing up there?!  If you fall, we got a load of trouble!"  At that statement, my scene-mates and I just looked at each other and smiled.  You see, I did not tell any higher-ups about my incident.  I didn't want them worrying about any liabilities.  And it was my choice to get on up there and take those risks.  Not their responsibility whatsoever, but I spose they're right.

So with that request, I stuck to my original, back-bending, body-aching spot.  For the next five hours.  I had to change it up a bit.  So I just went crazier with everything.  Stepping up my vocals and stepping up my energy.  For the night was going to be a busy one and I wanted to make sure I could handle it.

Every night, the first dozen or so wagons are a-o-kay.  No complaints, no problems.  People are generally in a good mood and want to be there.  They want to be scared or entertained.  They are not difficult about how you are performing, they are just enjoying the show.  But I have found that as the night progresses, the mood lessens.  The moon brings out the were-holes.  Usually, it is the young folk.  From the ages of elementary school to middle school.  I love kids.  But these are not kids.  As soon as you expose yourself to the wagon and they see you, they do not shut up nor even give you any kind of opportunity to have a witty comeback (which I might add I have been getting better and better at, making me proud of myself, for I have trouble talking in general).  So these "kids" just throw hay at you, yell incoherent and inconceivable statements, swing their wee arms, and hope that you give them all your much desired attention.  Well no thank you, "kid", but thanks for the 40 bucks!

I drank an energy drink around 11PM.  One thing you should know about me.  I don't normally drink energy drinks.  They make me crazy.  I'm already all over the place without them.  So when I drink a few sips.  It drove me over the edge.  My scene-mates were exhausted, yet I gained so much energy.  And that's when I started stalking the wagon all the way to the next scene.  Going from bouncy, silly hillbilly to creepy, crawly hick.

This was when things got a little crazy.  My mental state changed drastically.  My body was tired, but my mind did not know it, so I still give it my all to every wagon that came through.  Even though those kid creatures were gone, we had a new problem to deal with:  A-HOLES.  For some reason, there are grown-ass people who think certain things are funny when they are not, at all.  For example, there was a 40 year-old mother holding her hand out for high-fives.  I'M NOT GIVING YOU A HIGH FIVE.  I'M HERE TO MAKE YOU CRY.  On one particular wagon, there was an apparent 30 year-old a-hole.  Colin had come back after scaring the wagon with his patented pig snort and told us that there was this 30 year-old dude that just motioned his palm in front of his mouth, saying, "Oh, yawn."  Honestly, I have not seen Colin as pissed off as he was at the moment.  And he had every right to be.  What kind of human being does that?  What kind of response would you like to see from that?  HUH?!  If you think our attraction is dull, then keep it to yourself until you are completely done the entire attraction.  You have to understand that you are at a haunted attraction at 1 o'clock in the morning which has been open and in operation since 6:30 in the evening.  We are wiped.  You should have come sooner.  Technically, you shouldn't have even been allowed in because ticket sales were supposed to end at 10:30, but our owner is gracious enough to let you in.

I just have a few words to say to those a-holes who make our job just a tad bit unnecessarily difficult:


FUCK YALL. FUCK YALL. FUCK YALL.

I feel those words sum up the shared thoughts and emotions of the actors towards any hostile buffoons at the end of the night.  I did not keep up with the time much tonight because of how much activity we had.  The time did not matter tonight because we ended around 1:30 in the mornin'.  Oh, it's been a hard day's night and I've been workin' like a dog.  It's been a hard day's night and I should be sleeping like a log.

(End of 10th evening).